If we feel overwhelmed by life as an adult, or felt powerless as a child, three reflexive responses typically surface.
One, we avoid that which seems overwhelming. This can show up as denying, procrastinating, repressing, running & dissociating.
Two, we control what which seems overwhelming. This can show up as manipulation, abuse of others, seeking out positions of authority, status seeking & passive-aggressive behavior.
Three, we submit to that which seems overwhelming. This can show up as accommodation, self-sacrifice, self-sabotage, wishy-washy decision making, lack of personal boundaries, loss of personal integrity, feelings of disempowerment, being ‘nice’ by being compliant & codependence.
When we are aware of these three categories of reflexive responses we are more easily able to catch them when they occur.
If you feel a reflexive response trying to emerge, stop, breathe & give yourself space to craft a response that is based on the truth of your soul not the conditioning of your reflex.
Then, deliver the truth with love.